Discouragement, abandonment, & faith

I read Psalm 5 & Psalm 13 this morning. They are prayers of lament and praise.
David feels forgotten and assaulted, so he shares his discouragement, despair, fear, abandonment, and call for justice in his communication with God. He praises God for who He is and believes that God will make all things right in His own way.
I am convicted.
I turned these two Psalms into the following prayer:

Lord God,

How long will you forget me?
Forever?
Do you remember that I’m wrestling with my emotions and thoughts
all the time
and I can’t get clarity
on who you are or what you’re doing in my life?

I feel abandoned and forgotten.
Weak.
Misunderstood and assaulted.
I’m trying to serve you,
and always,
someone or something is coming for me–
disappointing me,
hurting me,
rejecting me,
discrediting me.
Sometimes it’s my own thoughts and faithlessness.
Many times, I believe it is the enemy.

Friends become foes.
They secretly enjoy my misfortune.
They talk about me to other people.
This mistreat me.
I feel the injustice and betrayal and disappointment of being human in a fallen world.
I wonder what you’re going to do about this?
Will you make this right?

I know that you do not take pleasure in evil.
You do not tolerate injustice forever.
You reject the arrogant and exalt the humble.
You hear my prayers.

So hear this:
I am yours.
I trust you.
I will follow you.

I don’t understand your methods.
I don’t even always understand your will.
I don’t see how these hardships work to glorify you or accomplish your will in my life.
I would do things so differently.

I am not God.
You are.
You are good.
You are sovereign.
You are omniscient.
You are compassionate.
So I will trust you.

Remember me.
Champion me.
Humble me.
Use me.

May I bring you glory in the hardships and the triumphs.
All are blessings from you.
All are proof of your love and direction.

In Jesus’ powerful name,
Amen.

I will sing to the Lord because He has been good to me. (Psalm 13:6)

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